my sister was 20 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage today. how can i help her? what can i do to comfort her and let her know I'm here if she ever needs me? please answer, i really need to know.


4 Answers

Danae Hitch Profile
Danae Hitch answered

If you want to help her, then you ask her what she needs. Don't tell her that you understand what she's going through, if you've never had a miscarriage. If she wants to talk about the baby, let her. She needs to let her grief come out before she can heal.

Also, it's perfectly okay to say - I don't know the pain that you are going through, but I want you to know I am here for you. Tell me how I can help you.

Virginia Lou Profile
Virginia Lou answered

Dear Anonymous,

Each of us is so individual...but twenty weeks, that is almost five months...

What if you just silently gave her a lovely card, saying "a donation has been made in memory of your beloved baby to...(her favorite charity)"

That would let her know that you see her baby as a person, which is how she will be grieving him/her.

Tom  Jackson Profile
Tom Jackson answered

Personally, I don't have a clue.

Here's where I decided that I would start if my sister were in such a situation.

PJ Stein Profile
PJ Stein answered

Honestly, there isn't much you can do for her right now. She is going to have to grieve, and that is a very personal process. Give her a hug and give her space. You haven't mentioned the father, if he is around let him take the lead on what your sister needs. She probably won't  want to eat, and don't push it too much. Make sure there is something simple like soup available. If the father is involved it is easy for him to heat up. If not it you can heat it up. Just let her know you are there. If she wants to talk listen. Don't tell her how she should feel or you know what she s feeling. If she doesn't want to talk, that is fine, too. Just keep the Kleenex handy and give whatever contact she will allow. Hold her hand, give a hug, or just sit quietly in a hair nearby.

I am so sorry for her loss.

Answer Question