I have been down the same road you are on and the only thing I can really say that when someone you love cheats on you it will hurt no matter what....but ask yourself how much you love him and remember what brought the two of you together...that led you to the wedding vows and having children.You know that he loves you and that he is probable very sorry for hurting you.Give you and him and your life together a second chance if he truly does love you and your relationship you say is better it can only get stronger from what you have been through. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or marriage. People make mistakes don't throw something good away because of it.....Good luck and may God bless you & your husband and strengthen your marriage. Joy ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~my My twin brother cheated on his lovely wife my sister-in-law who is wonderful one time and he did hurt her.They love each other very much and go to church every week and are very happy...he is sorry for hurting her and they did work things out .They are more in love today then the day they said " I DO " if not more in love. When you love each other with all your heart...your relationship is worth mending and by the grace of God we are able to put things behind us and move on with our lives...life is to short not to make amends and remember the love that you feel for one another and make more memories to cherish. ~*~~*~*~*~*~*May God Bless Your Family~*~*~*~*~* Joy
That's quite simple: Regardless of whether or not he wants a divorce, you can still file for it. If he loved you like he claimed, he wouldn't of gone and cheated on you. By your explanation it sounds like he completely defiled the sacred grounds of marriage and the extent of which you trusted him. It's time to let go of him, hon.
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater; you can't change that fact, even if you want to. He's bound to do it again as soon as you [Gods forbid] trust him again. You need to get a divorce filed, but do remember to be careful: He might get scornful/spiteful and try to take away the kids, or one of them. He has no rightful grounds to do so, so you should be okay, but... You never know.
Just get rid of him, that's all you can do. Either that or leave, stay with some relatives if you have to until you can get back onto your feet.
My usband also cheated on me while I was pregnant with my second and I didn't truly find out until my son was ust over a year old. I found out only because she found out she was pregnant with my husbands baby. And of course it turned out to be a little girl, just what he always wanted. We have two boys.I have known her for many years and the type of person she is I cannot even start to describe other than pure trash. She already has an 8 year old from someone else. I have never really liked her or trusted her. She is a very sexual trashy person, cute in her own way if you like that rough cutesy look. My husband brought her up into management so they started working side by side. I am not sure that it didn't start sooner but that is all I have found out about that. I have caught him continuing with her three times and he even got her a job at the bank across from our business(we fired her the day we I found out) which is where my husband does his business banking. He has continued sleeping with her throughout her pregnancy. He went to the delivery, took them home from hospital, and has gone to visit the baby at her house everyday since. He says it is just about the baby and that she doesnt have anyone else to help her. IOt is his responsibility and he as to make sure the baby is doing good. I had asked him to please let me come to hospital and with him to visit the baby at her house. I have even offered to raise the little girl, because its not her fault and I don't want her growing up to be like her mother. He has denied all my requests saying that it is to awkward and she wouldnt allow it anyways. We have two boys that adore their dad beyond belief. He has moved out twice and is currently. He is living with his parents which is pretty much in my backyard. We have been together for 14 years and married for 8. My oldeswt son just doesnt understand why his dad isn't ever around. My husband works a tremendous amount of hours, and wasnt here much anyways. I have found out so many times that when he could have been here with our boys on his days off, she had the same days off and they were together. Even on my sons first birthday, he took her out of town gambeling while I stayed home with both boys and got everything ready for the party. He came home in time for the party. She even came up and held my son when he was born, even though she was sleeping with my husband. I love my husband so much, and I know I should just bolt. I just keep thinking this will all turn around, how can I afford to leave I have been a stay at home mom for almost four years. I don't have anyway of supporting us and when I talk about divorce he gets irrate and tells me to go ahead and try. I have gone from a size 4 to a 000. I also still after all these years get chills when my husband touches me. I know I wasnt a perfect wife, and he felt ignored and she gave him all the attention and satisfaction beyond his dreams sexually. He isn't willing to confront us both, he says it isn't the right time, he has to just do this for a while to make sure all is ok with the baby. He keeps saying all will get better in time. I have never felt so much pain, anger, hurt, humiliation in my life. This has almost made me go literally crazy. We used to be the it couple, everyone wanted to be us and around us. I fell for him literally the day I met him. I just want to be able to let go, but he wont let go of me or her. I am afraid he will not ever let go of either one of us. He just wants it all.
I am going through what you are. I can't forget and I am the who's ruining our Marriage. But am I? He went off with another women, I never asked for that. Just because he said sorry doe's it make it right?? Not in my eyes. Its been 7mounths since this happened to me, I think of it every day. In fact its driving me mad. People say that I should let it go, oh yes its ok for them to say that, they haven't had it done on them. He Told me a load of lies, then he said the Truth! So he said, I don't believe him. I know what I should do, its just doing it. What's so hard for me he was so good for 27 years, this women came into our lives and took that good person away. I often think was he so good!! If you can forgive I'm sure you will be better,as I would, but I just Can't. Good luck hope things work out which ever way things go.
I know this feeling its horrible. I can't forget and I will never forgive him, he has turned my good life into a total nightmare. I was will him 27 years, what a waste of my young life. He says I should move on and not keep on, why should I he did the wrong, I wish I had the strength to move on, but its hard due to financial reasons, I will just stay around until he is sick of hearing me, he will do it again as he did before this time the git has an excuse. I'm so unhappy, I know that I shouldn't but I seem to relive it all, at night I lie there thinking , as if I'm trying to figure it all out. He still lies to this day its been 15 months, he tells me its this women then it another, he even told me that she had the same name as me!! Oh my god, that's bad. Whats makes him more of a git, I was waiting for results as I had a lump in my womb. Hope all you women the best as I know exactly where you all are at.
Trust is the foundation in anything. From a house to relationships. Without a strong foundation things crumble. If he loved you he would not have disrespected you by doing this. Especially while you were carrying his child. Do you want to live the rest of your life wondering if every time he walks out the door if he is going to cheat on you. That is added stress that is unnecessary. You should leave. Your trust and foundation is broken.
I kinda of been there after having r baby I found out. I say if you truly want a divorce get one and fast! I f you love him and want to work it out every one should get a second chance. Yes it is very hard to ever trust again but work at it and if he does his part it will come back.
This sounds like a man who wants it all, and want you to chill out about it. Being hurt by infidelity is a lingering hurt, but if you are not happy leave. He see what his cheating has done to you, and when you react to the situation, you have given him control of your mind and moods. You have children who deserves to have a happy home life
I know exactly how you feel my husband did the same. Two years on and it still feels like yesterday. I will never ever trust him again, I do love him but in a totally different way. I keep bringing the topic up but my husband can't keep going through it, he wants to move on. I can't! He was supposed to be my best friend someone who I loved and trusted so much and he has thrown it all away. It takes a life time to build up trust and a second to break it. I feel insecure and totally threatened by any other woman. I have no confidence and I am living a nightmare over and over again.
I am going through the same thing. My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with our second child. There are some good days and bad days but I don't know if I am ever going to get past it. It's different when you have children.
Follow your gut instinct. Trust is the foundation on which relationships are built, and with no foundation, what do you have? You have to love yourself and listen to what your heart tells you.
Trust is very important in a relationship. If you suspect your spouse is cheating, just confront him and try to sort it out together. If he refuses a peaceful talk and keeps lying or hiding, then install a stealth monitoring software to help you find out the truth. Once you get the evidence, you can choose to stay or leave. Whatever, do not ruin your relationship by unfounded doubt.
If you can forgive him then forgive him, if you can't forgive him then move on.
Its a simple choice that is complicated. Take your time and think about it logically. Do you see real change in him? Are you willing to give him another chance? Do you still love him, Does he still love you? Do you still trust him?
