Is It Normal That I Am So Critical Of Myself? How Can I Stop This?


4 Answers

lakeesha Hennessy Williams Profile
Everyone gets critical about themselves from time to time, but it sounds like you've got it worse than most.

I'd suggest taking a 'time out' to reflect on all the positive things that surround you.
It's always so easy to see the negative aspects of life, but recognizing your positive attributes can be more difficult.

How to stop being so critical of myself?

The surest way to stop being so critical of yourself is to work on your self-confidence. It sounds to me as if you're lacking a bit in that department.

Make a list of goals you'd like to achieve.

Pick things that are plausible, but that will give you a sense of accomplishment. Then, one-by-one, set about achieving those objectives.

This exercise will help you realize you're not as helpless as you may think. I'm confident that with a little effort, you'll be able to succeed.

Another weapon in the fight against self-criticism is to acknowledge all your positive attributes.

Everyone has good qualities and bad qualities, so if you're struggling to figure out exactly what's so great about you- why not ask a close friend or relative.

Go about asking people what they think your best quality is, and make a note of what they say.
The main thing is to snap out of that cycle of self-pity: Life is too short for wallowing!
karin bernal Profile
karin bernal answered
You need to retrain your mind. You are accustomed to feeling ugly on the outside and inside and you have learned to have a poor opinion of yourself.

Whenever you start getting down on yourself - divert your thoughts to something else.  Do not allow yourself to delve into all the things that are wrong with you. 

Even when you let your mind think about whatever you have wrong with you and when you think about how you can fix yourself, you are feeding this negative part of the brain. Stop feeding it. Never let your mind think about anything negative regarding yourself. 

It will take some time months, but soon you will find that your mind will become more healthy and you will start feeling better about yourself.

We all have experiences we would like to forget and we all have done things that we don't respect.  Don't go there in your mind. Even if you have to focus on a tree in the distance, or a math question, it can be anything at all but don't allow the negative thoughts to take over or even to linger in your mind for a second. Immediately stop them and think of something else.

I think most people are afraid to be themselves because they are afraid people won't like them.  Humans are a strange, fearful lot. Just work on being yourself as much as you can. People really are drawn to others who are "themselves" and not afraid to show it. 

There is also a mind-training trick where you pretend to be something you think you're not. For example, let's say you're not always happy but you want to appear to be a happy person. What you do is smile a lot and try to pretend that you're a happy person and as time goes on you're find that you've retrained your mind into actually being a happier person.

I wish I had the magic to hug you and let you know that you're worthy and wonderful even with the awful background baggage you went through.

I say this because you had the courage to face what you've experienced and the courage to ask others for any help they might have. Don't give up. I think "we" need to work on developing ourselves until our dying day.

You are fortunate to have a few good friends - 2 or 3 friends are the most we could ever ask for.  Be real with them because they love you.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Have you tried counseling?

I also am hard on myself. I grew up skinny, but my boyfriend (who I then married) would always tell me that I was FAT.

I was 5'8 and 120lbs, and my mom would tell me that I looked like a walking skeleton.

So I am now 29 and have serious self esteem issues and now I am overweight and can't stand it.

I have done talk therapy and anti-depressants and I feel a little better (like I don't think that I am ugly and the fatest person in the world anymore) but I do still hate my weight.

Good luck to you.
thanked the writer.
Lilly Anne
Lilly Anne commented
I drink a lot of water, jump rope, run on the treadmill, literally don't eat any sweets. I pretty much eat...vegetables and meat only. I hope that is useful in some way.
Lynne Dwyer Profile
Lynne Dwyer answered
Remember who you are inside. That's the only side people should remember you by. If your past still bothers you, see a therapist & find out how to overcome your past issues.

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